Funny Old Women Speeding Joke

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies -- two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit?" she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

Funny Rush Hour at the Nursing Home

Or is is a retirement village. Either way, Dinner must be served cos there is a traffic jam of wheelchairs lining up. I love how they are all so orderly.

Old Couple Visit Doctor Joke

This old man in his eighty's got up and was putting on his coat.

His wife said, "Where are you going ?"

He said, "I'm going to the doctor."

And she said, "Why? Are you sick?"

"No," he said. "I'm going to get me some of those new Viagra pills."

So his wife got up out of her rocker and was putting on her sweater and he said, "Where are you going?"

She said, "I'm going to the doctor too."

He said, "Why?
"
She said, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm going to get a tetanus shot."

Dreaming of Mice Joke

Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top.

"What's in that box?" Mrs. Riddle asked.

"A cat," Mrs. Biddle answered.

"What for?"

"I've been dreaming about mice at night, and I'm scared of mice. The cat is to catch them."

"But the mice you dream about are imaginary," said Mrs. Riddle.

Mrs. Biddle turned to her friend and whispered, "So is the cat."