How to Know You Live in a Small Town

The local phone book has only one yellow page.

Third Street is on the edge of town.

You leave your jacket on the back of the chair in the cafe, and when you go back the next day, it's still there, on the same chair.

You don't signal turns because everyone knows where you're going, anyway.

No social events can be scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.

You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.

Everyone knows all the news before it's published; they just read the hometown paper to see whether the publisher got it right.

The city limits signs are both on the same post!

The City jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell.

The McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.

The 7-11 is a 3 1/2 - 5 1/2.

The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions.

The phone book has only one page.

There's nothing doing every minute.

The ZIP code is a fraction.

Second Street is in the next town over.

There's no place to go that you shouldn't.

A "Night on the Town" takes only 11 minutes.

The mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog.

The New Year's baby was born in October.